I’ve just received the most extraordinary email.
Subject: Hi, I think you’d be interested what is new! modern method for you! You are not frustrated total
Date: 15-03-2013 16:48
From: “Mike Westgarth”
Now I’m always interested in what is new and I’m no stranger to modern methods, so I can see how I might be frustrated total if I didn’t listen to what “Mike Westgarth” has to say.
Good day! I just read a cool way to be cool in bed! But do not write to anyone about this method to anyone
A cool way to be cool in bed? The mind boggles. It must somehow combine an edgy fashion sense with a practical and efficacious method of reducing one’s core temperature when retiring for the evening.
Perhaps an Oriental fan with a Skrillex motif?
An air conditioning unit that plays One Direction songs?
Ice cubes in the shape of The Fonz?
I like that “Mike Westgarth” is so enthused about this exciting modern method that he’s specifically forbidden me from writing to anyone about this method to anyone. And there I was about to dash off a missive to my Auntie Ethel.
You know, this principle is used sex stars!
Fuck no! Really? “Mike Westgarth” now you are making a fuck of me! Hilarity of fun! Your talk is strange of broken!
Seriously Mike. Stop it.